Are you considering abortion because the pain you’re in feels unbearable?
Maybe you’re in a relationship that’s emotionally (or even physically) toxic. Maybe you’re struggling to make ends meet and wondering how you could possibly provide for a baby. Maybe shame is whispering that you should just “take care of it” quietly, without anyone knowing. Or maybe… the pregnancy wasn’t even your choice, and your heart is shattered.
No matter your circumstances, I want to gently offer you this truth:
Abortion doesn’t end the pain.
It might seem like a quick fix. A way to regain control. A way out of the chaos.
But as someone who’s walked through this—personally and alongside many other women—I’ve seen the pattern repeat: abortion doesn’t erase your pain. It often adds more of it.
I’ve Been There Too
At seventeen, I remember sitting on the couch, completely undone. I could feel the Holy Spirit nudging me to tell my mom I was pregnant—but the fear was crippling. I physically hurt at the thought of my secret being exposed.
I wasn’t just afraid of being found out. I was afraid of what that would mean—how people would view me, how my relationship would change, how my life would spiral.
That fear drove me to make a choice I have regretted for the rest of my life. For many women, that fear does lead to abortion.
But here’s what I’ve learned: the pain I thought I could avoid by hiding or controlling the situation has only been replaced by a deeper, more lasting ache.
Abortion Doesn’t Fix What You Think It Will
Let’s break this down together—truthfully, prayerfully, and compassionately.
1. Abortion Won’t Save Your Relationship
It’s common to believe that abortion will “protect” the relationship you’re in. Maybe your partner is pressuring you to terminate. Maybe you think it’ll prevent conflict or keep things “normal.”
But the data—and countless personal stories—tell a different story.
Most relationships don’t survive an abortion.
Some end immediately. Others fall apart slowly. But rarely does abortion bring couples closer.
Why? Because abortion isn’t just a medical procedure. It’s an emotional, spiritual, and even physiological event. Studies show that abortion impacts your brain chemistry. We were biologically designed to nurture life during pregnancy. When that process is interrupted, especially forcefully, it can lead to feelings of loss, trauma, or emotional disconnection—even if it’s not immediate.
And that changes things in a relationship. Resentment, shame, guilt… all of it lingers beneath the surface.
2. Financial Stability Doesn’t Equal Emotional Healing
Another common fear: “I can’t afford to have a baby.”
Listen, that fear is real. The cost of raising a child is high, and the burden can feel heavy when you’re already struggling. But hear this:
Regret costs more than financial strain ever will.
There’s a well-known study often referenced in pro-abortion arguments—the Turnaway Study. People claim it proves women who are denied abortions suffer. But the study also revealed something powerful:
98% of women who were turned away from getting an abortion said they no longer wished they had gone through with it—even when their finances worsened.
Why? Because choosing life brought peace. They found strength they didn’t know they had. And they weren’t alone.
There are incredible support systems like:
- Pregnancy Resource Centers in your area
- Let Them Live (provides financial support to pregnant women)
- Embrace Grace (connects women with churches and mentors)
And churches that want to walk with you
3. Abortion Doesn’t Erase the Trauma of Rape or Assault
This is one of the most heartbreaking and sensitive scenarios.
If you became pregnant through sexual violence, I want to first say: I am so sorry. You never should have been put in that position. What happened to you was not your fault.
And the last thing I want to do is minimize your pain.
But I’ve walked alongside many women who’ve made both choices—those who chose abortion and those who chose life—and here’s what I can tell you:
Abortion doesn’t undo what was done. It often deepens the trauma.
Women who’ve aborted after rape often describe feeling like they were violated again. That their bodies went through a second trauma. That they were left not only grieving what was taken from them, but also what they chose to give up.
There are other options. Adoption is one. It’s not an easy road—but it’s one that doesn’t end in loss. And yes, there’s also space for women to choose to parent. Many who do find their child becomes part of their healing—not a reminder of the pain, but a testimony of survival and strength.
What God Offers Instead
If you’re still reading, I want you to know this:
There is no condemnation here. Just compassion. Just truth.
You might be in more pain than you’ve ever experienced. You might be scared, ashamed, or isolated.
But God hasn’t abandoned you.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
He sees your story from beginning to end. And where the world says, “End the pain,” God says, “Come to Me, and I will give you rest.”
You don’t have to carry this decision alone. There is hope. There is healing. And there are people ready to support you, pray for you, and help you see that your life—and the life inside you—are still worth fighting for.
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