Were you confident in your abortion decision when you made it… but now, years later, you find yourself wondering,
“Did I really do the right thing?”
If that’s you, I want you to know: you’re not alone.
Abortion regret is more common than people think—and it doesn’t always show up right away. In fact, many women go years (even decades) without consciously thinking about their abortion(s)… until something stirs it all back up again. That wave of regret and grief can feel overwhelming, especially when no one around you seems to understand it.
But I promise you—God sees it all. And healing is possible.
The Truth About Delayed Abortion Regret
When I look back on my own story, I can say with honesty: I did regret my abortion fairly quickly.
But I also felt something else that might surprise you—relief.
There were reasons for that:
- I thought I could keep my double life hidden
- I didn’t have to delay college
- I wouldn’t be labeled “the pregnant girl”
- I could continue living my life without major interruption
At the time, those things felt like freedom. But in hindsight, none of them justified the decision I made.
I would give up every one of those things if it meant I could undo what happened.
Still, I think it’s important to acknowledge that many women experience a similar sense of relief—and then shame themselves for it later. If that’s you, please hear this:
Feeling relief in the beginning doesn’t make you a bad person.
Relief and denial are often the first stages of grief after abortion. And that relief doesn’t mean you were heartless. It just means you were human, trying to cope in a moment that felt impossible.
So Why Does the Regret Hit Now?
On average, women stay in denial about their abortion for nine to ten years.
That’s nearly a decade of trying to move on, avoid the pain, or pretend it never happened.
And then—out of nowhere—it surfaces.
You might find yourself asking:
- Why am I thinking about this now?
- Why is this suddenly bothering me after all this time?
- Am I crazy for feeling this way years later?
You’re not crazy. You’re not weak. You’re waking up to grief that’s been buried deep for a long time.
And there are a few common reasons why this often happens:
You’re now starting or growing your family
A new baby in your arms makes the weight of what you lost incredibly real. You realize that the life you ended wasn’t theoretical—it was your child.
You’re struggling with infertility or aging
Maybe you assumed you’d have more chances later… but now pregnancy seems out of reach. You wonder if that was your only opportunity.
You’ve gone through something traumatic
Trauma—like a divorce, the death of a loved one, or even a health crisis—can awaken old wounds. Your heart connects the pain you’re in now with the pain you tried to forget.
If You’re Feeling That Regret Now… What Do You Do?
If abortion regret has caught you off guard, I want to gently guide you toward healing—not by shaming you, but by helping you see that you’re not too far gone.
Here’s where you can begin:
1. Recognize that it’s not too late
There is no expiration date on God’s grace. Whether it’s been five years or twenty-five, healing is still possible.
2. Confide in someone safe
Keeping this to yourself only makes the shame grow. Share your story with someone you trust—a friend, mentor, or Christian counselor.
3. Seek out healing resources
Whether it’s a support group, a post-abortion Bible study, or one-on-one abortion recovery coaching, you don’t have to process this alone.
(I offer coaching if you’re looking for someone to walk with you spiritually through this—https://brittanypoppe.com/coaching.)
4. Give yourself grace and time
Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s worth the journey. You’re doing a brave thing by acknowledging your regret and moving forward.
There Is Hope for You
If you’re struggling with guilt, shame, or the haunting thought that God couldn’t possibly forgive this—please let me reassure you:
You are not beyond God’s mercy.
In fact, that very regret might be what He’s using to draw your heart closer to His.
The Bible tells us in 1 John 1:9:
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
That promise includes abortion. That promise includes you.
Let’s Walk This Road Together
I created a private online community for Christian women who are walking through post-abortion healing. If you’re looking for a place where you can be honest, loved, and supported by women who get it—you’re invited to join us.
Join the Abortion Recovery for Christian Women Facebook Group
You are not alone. You are not too far gone. And your story isn’t over.
If you’re ready to start healing, I’m here when you’re ready.
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