Do you feel like your past abortion has made you more afraid? Do you notice that you experience more anxiety than you used to, especially when it comes to certain situations?
You are not alone. Fear is a very real and heavy emotion that many women face after an abortion. With 1 in 4 women having had at least one abortion by the age of 45 — and with so many of these women experiencing negative mental health effects afterward — fear is extremely common.But just because it’s common doesn’t mean you have to live with it forever. Healing is possible. Today, I want to walk you through three common fears that women face after abortion and how you can begin to heal from them.
Fear Is A Normal Response To Trauma
After going through something traumatic, it’s incredibly common to experience fear. There’s a reason post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) exists — and for post-abortive women, there’s even a specific term for it: Post Abortion Stress Syndrome (PASS).
This emotional and psychological stress can show up in so many ways — fear, depression, anxiety, anger, and many more.
I know this struggle firsthand because I’ve lived it. Even after I started my healing journey, fear still showed up in my life in different ways:
- Fear of pregnancy – The thought of getting pregnant again triggered deep anxiety, even in my marriage. I would be afraid that I would become pregnant, even though it’s completely logical for two married people to plan to grow their family. I would take pregnancy tests incessantly every month in fear.
- Fear of something happening during pregnancy – When I was pregnant with each of my living children, I constantly worried something would go wrong. I was worried I would miscarry, or that something would happen to them or to me during childbirth.
- Fear of going to OBGYN appointments – I absolutely dread seeing my OB. I love my OB and have a great doctor/patient relationship with him, but I find myself sweating and shaking on the drive to those appointments. It’s like a sense of “fight or flight” when I am on my way there.
- Fear of something happening to my kids – I was terrified when my kids were at their littlest that something was going to happen to them. I did not like it if they were away from me, even if they were in a different room. I didn’t want anyone to watch them for me unless that person was my mom. I wasn’t trusting of anyone, and I also wasn’t trusting of myself. I knew I loved my kids and that I would never intentionally hurt them, but I honestly thought I was too dangerous to be around them.
- General anxiety, like fear of flying – Even unrelated fears felt amplified because of the weight I was carrying. I have had flight anxiety since I was young, as I was only in third grade when 9/11 happened. However, that anxiety was extremely manageable in my younger years when we would take trips. Now, this anxiety is debilitating at times, and it’s absolutely true that our bodies have a hard time handling other stressors when we are dealing with unhealed shame and guilt.
All of this to say, the shame and guilt from my abortion that I hadn’t fully healed from made every fear feel bigger and harder to manage. And that’s the reality for so many post-abortive women — unhealed pain magnifies fear.
3 Common Fears After Abortion
1. Fear of Becoming Pregnant Again
After an abortion, your mind starts to associate pregnancy with trauma. Instead of seeing pregnancy as something beautiful, it feels like a threat — a reminder of pain and regret.
You might find yourself constantly taking pregnancy tests to ease your anxiety. You might even feel like you’ve lost your desire to have children at all because the fear feels too big.
2. Fear of Infertility or Pregnancy Loss
Another common fear is that God will punish you for your abortion by making you infertile or causing future pregnancies to end in miscarriage. This fear can feel all-consuming, making it difficult to even consider having kids in the future.
3. Fear That You’ve Lost Your Salvation
You may wonder if abortion is the unforgivable sin, and you’re terrified that you’ve permanently damaged your relationship with God. Since you can’t go back and “undo” your abortion, you feel stuck, unsure of how to make things right with God.
How to Heal From Fear After Abortion
1. Understand That Pregnancy Isn’t a Disease
It might feel that way right now because of how your mind has connected pregnancy to trauma, but God designed your body to create and nurture life. Pregnancy itself isn’t something to fear — it’s a part of how God created us as women.
With healing, you can learn to see pregnancy through a lens of beauty instead of fear.
2. Learn the Difference Between Punishment and Consequence
One of the enemy’s biggest lies is that God is out to punish you. But the truth is that God’s heart is for redemption, not condemnation.
When we repent, we are washed clean. That doesn’t mean we won’t face natural consequences for our choices, but God isn’t punishing you. Many women who’ve had abortions go on to have healthy pregnancies and thriving families.
Look at it this way: If I was an alcoholic for years and years, and finally got sober and repented for all of those years, God would absolutely accept me with open arms. However, those years could have taken a toll on my body to the point of causing liver failure. That liver failure wouldn’t be a punishment from God, but rather a consequence of my previous behavior.
If you do struggle with any health issues after having an abortion, it doesn’t mean that God is punishing you, and you don’t need to fear punishment from God because that is not His heart for you.
3. Remember That Abortion Is Not the Unforgivable Sin
Let me say that again: Abortion is not the unforgivable sin.
In Matthew 12:31, Jesus says:
“Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.”That means every sin can be forgiven — even abortion. You are not beyond God’s grace, and there is no sin too big for the blood of Jesus. The only unforgivable sin, is completely turning away from Jesus and denoucing Him. He died for your abortion, too. He is ready and waiting to heal you, dear friend.
You Don’t Have to Heal Alone
Fear after abortion is very real, and I don’t want to diminish the weight of it. But I also want you to know that you don’t have to stay stuck there.
Healing is possible, and you don’t have to walk this journey alone. If you’re ready to take the next step, I invite you to:
- Join our free Facebook community — a safe space to connect with other women who understand.
- Reach out for 1:1 coaching if you want personalized support and accountability.
You are worthy of healing. You are not too broken. And God is ready to meet you right where you are.
Have you registered to join us for our upcoming workshop?
Register to attend our FREE Abortion Recovery Breakthrough Workshop happening on March 26th and take your first step toward freedom from fear!
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